Below, we share 6 reasons divorce is preferable to staying in an unhappy, unhealthy marriage.
Anyone who is considering divorce knows that there is a lot of research demonstrating that divorce is difficult for children. If you’re considering divorce or in the process of getting one it can seem as though researchers are shaking their fingers at you, predicting the worst for your child.
Also, when you’re considering divorce or reeling from your ex’s decision to end the marriage, it’s easy to focus on the negatives: How will I possibly get by living on my own again? Am I doomed to be alone for the rest of my life?
While those concerns are understandable, it’s equally important to focus on the good that can come of being single. Here we share 11 reasons divorce is preferable to staying in an unhappy, unhealthy marriage.
1. You can devote your energy to other important areas of your life: If you have done all the work of trying to make the marriage better and nothing is changing, finding the courage to leave and move forward pays off in the long run. The pay off? You stop putting all your energy into a relationship that no longer works and put more energy into yourself and your kids.
2. You and your partner may be stifling each other’s growth: divorce should rarely be the first choice because generally the only thing keeping a ‘bad’ marriage from being a ‘good’ marriage is sustained mutual effort. That being said, there are times that divorce is the best choice in order to allow both partners to grow and achieve the life they desire, and in some scenarios, the life they deserve.
3. Parents who choose personal happiness teach their kids to do the same: While putting your kids first is often held up as the gold standard of parenting, deciding that your personal happiness is more important than having a nuclear family under one roof sends a powerful message to your children. It shows them that everyone deserves to be happy and that happiness is an important consideration in your life plan.
4. A happier parent is a better parent: Learning to let go and step into the unknown may be the single most important thing you can do for your own sanity and the sanity of those around you. Divorce proves that you have the courage to live a life of happiness. And if you’re happier, you’ll be a far more effective parent.
5. You get to focus on you for once: After divorce, you find yourself again and fall in love with the wonderful attributes that make you you. As a mother especially, you can parent with just your own mama instincts and all your love and energy can flow into your little one(s). You find genuine peace and happiness and an appreciation for life that may have been sucked out of you during your bad marriage.
6. Children learn that compromise matters: When they see their parents co-parenting and working through the issues in a divorce, children learn that compromise is an important and effective skill. While no divorce is without challenges, getting through it shows your child how to work through hard times to achieve a brighter future. Parents who choose to mediate their divorce show their children that working together to find a solution is preferable to fighting against each other.