Life is always about choice. Sometimes we climb into the light, but other times we choose to explore the dark. However, there is always, after all, a positive lesson in every dark corner, if we’re willing to look for it.
We all know life is not a bed of roses but is it right to look at the thorns when you do finally have a rose with you? Being cynical about the best things in life is what pessimists do. They will buy diamond shoes and find them too tight. So yeah, negative thinking is indeed ruining your life. Here are 7 ways you're destroying your life with negativity:
1. You're spending more time complaining than appreciating: You could look at anything from a positive perspective or a negative one. Anything we choose to think about can be viewed from it’s potential to make life better or worse. Choosing to complain routinely is choosing to look at people, situations and events in a negative way on a regular basis. It’s choosing to view our world as ugly, hateful, wicked and intolerant.
2. You're valuing other people’s opinions over your own: Worrying about what other people think is a one-way ticket to unhappiness. Everyone out there is already worried about their own damn lives. Every person you know has a lot on his or her mind besides you. Waiting for someone else’s stamp of approval is like waiting for a toddler to clean your house for you. It’s your house, and you’re the only one in it who has the ability to get it in order the way you want it. Be your own biggest supporter and cheerleader. Even further, understand that other people need the time and space to be the same for themselves.
3. You're spewing messages of hate and intolerance: The way we use our words makes a dramatic impact on the message we’re sending out into the universe. In other words, saying “fuck yeah” is a lot different than “go fuck yourself” or “I fucking hate my job.” The words aren’t that important, but the underlying message certainly is. We get what we put out there in life, so when you’re regularly pumping a message of hate out into the world, don’t be surprised when you end up seriously hating your life. Let your life message be one that benefits you in the highest way possible.
4. You're blaming other people for your own negativity.: We can complain all we want about the “negative people” in our life but when we make the choice to sit down with them and get into the drama, that negativity is just as much ours as it is their’s. Negativity isn’t something outside of yourself that inserts itself into your experience. Negativity is something that lives inside of us, and when it’s reflected in our realities it’s because we personally choose to experience it. So, if you’re experiencing massive amounts of drama and negativity, understand that it hasn’t chosen you, you’ve chosen it. It’s ok to have a negative moment, and it’s ok to make mistakes. Just know that when you own them, you make it much easier on yourself to make more positive choices in the future.
5. You're refusing to forgive and forget: Saying “I’ll forgive, but I’m not going to forget” is the same as saying “I’m gonna let this go, but I’m not really going to let this go.” If this is your motto when it comes to forgiveness, don’t be surprised if the anger and the pain linger on forever. Forgive, forget and get on with your life. No one owes you any favors, explanations or apologies. It would be nice, but no one is required to do any of that and oftentimes they won’t. If you wait for other people to change before you move on with your life, it’s unlikely you’ll ever get over your anger. Instead, choose to let go for the sake of your own sanity, and if you must modify anyone’s behavior, let it be your own.
6. You're being overly suspicious: Before getting yourself involved in a friendship or relationship, you might be overly suspicious about the person already, about their intentions not being good. It is possible that you do not even trust anyone to get attached with. So how are you going to have friends? “I don’t need friends.” Is what you might be thinking next, but when worse comes to worst; it’s these friends you want to hold onto. This will lead to nothing but you being lonely in the end.
7. You're becoming bitter: You become bitter; if you are a negative person, you will feel that many times you don’t even realise why you are feeling bitter and thus, you become angry over things which wouldn’t have bothered you in the first place. Thus, the next time when something bothers you, take a pause and figure out the reason for it. If you don’t find any reason, think of good thoughts, like you being invisible and having the ability to fly.
Happiness won’t come to you if you are so negative. You will feel a twinge of jealousy when someone else achieves what you do not, and you won’t even be able to feel happy about anyone. Happiness is a state of mind, but you will never be able to be in that state, and it would only be something you experienced as a child, with no hope for it in present or future.