Here are five signs you’re dealing with a narcissist and might want to rethink the relationship
Studies show that 1 in 10 people in their 20s is dealing with narcissistic personality disorder, a condition in which "people have an inflated sense of their own importance, a deep need for admiration and a lack of empathy for others."
The narcissist thrives on other people's fear. It's an unfulfilling strategy, which necessitates a constant draining of the vitality of others. Narcissists haven't learned that the only true power is love — of self, other, and universe. And if you've ever fallen in love with a narcissist, you know how painful it can be.
Here are five signs you’re dealing with a narcissist and might want to rethink the relationship:
1. They think they know everything and aren’t afraid to tell you: Narcissists believe themselves to be completely superior to everyone in almost every way, which often lends to them offering advice on subjects and matters that they really have no business offering advice in. They’ll lecture doctors on medicine and dentists on teeth. If you notice this person always offering up pieces of condescending advice, they’re probably highly narcissistic.
2. You're constantly being blamed: Narcissists don't accept that they create their own experience. Instead, they are constantly hurt by your behavior and project the blame onto you. Their responses are triggered by unhealed wounds, so they're trying to relieve pain, subconsciously, through harmful emotional abuse.
3. You start feeling obsessive, needy, or codependent after spending time with this person: An empath's light is bright; highly sensitive people have a high love quotient. Oftentimes, the more powerful we are, the more challenges we face in keeping that power and harnessing it in a way that serves others. If you're feeling obsessive, needy, codependent, and drained, that's a red flag.
4. They’re never the rule, always the exception: Just as they believe they are superior to everyone around them, they also like to think they are above the laws and dictates that apply to “ordinary” people. They see themselves as exceptional, so they regularly find ways to get people to break the rules or turn a cheek when they want to step outside the boundaries of society. Why should they have to follow the rules like everyone else?
5. They boost themselves up by bringing others down: When a narcissist feels threatened by someone who is “outperforming” them in one way or another, they tend towards insults and degradation to make sure that person is knocked down a peg or two. You could be recognized as one of the smartest people in the world and the narcissist would do his or her best to somehow bring you down to their low-stooping level.
The way out of a narcissistic relationship starts with awareness and is followed by taking responsibility for our choices and feelings and learning how to love ourselves enough to leave. What happens when we blame the narcissist for our pain is that we become even more needy or codependent.
Blame keeps us trapped. The narcissist is not responsible for our wounds. They trigger our wounds. They allow us to see and feel them so we can heal them. Only then can we realize it's not about the other person and return to ourselves. This is how we win. We rise above their frequency, above the ego, which is the only level the narcissist lives on. That's how you are able to leave.
This relationship is an important spiritual assignment to heal your deepest wounds. Knowing the higher purpose of relationships helps us to detach and release painful life patterns.